Lesson 3: The Anatomy of an Aligned Decision
You don’t need more time. You need a better filter.
Most of us were taught to decide by weighing pros and cons, polling other people, and trying to predict every possible outcome. That process often favors what looks good on paper — not what’s actually right for you.
You need a clearer way to see what you’re really deciding on.
Most decision stress comes from not understanding the parts of a decision. You feel stuck because you’re trying to act without first knowing what you’re actually choosing.
The Anatomy of a Decision
At its core, every decision is made of four elements:
Choice Point – A moment when more than one path is available to you.
Information – The facts you know, the emotions you feel, and the intuition you sense.
Trade-Off – What you gain and what you give up with each possible choice.
Commitment – The action you take that moves you forward on one path and closes off the others (at least for now).
Key truth: Most “I’m stuck” moments happen because one of these parts is unclear, usually the trade-off you’re avoiding or the commitment you’re scared to make.
What Makes a Decision “Aligned”
An aligned decision isn’t one you’ll never second-guess. It’s one that holds up when measured against your truth, your energy, your values, and your future self.
Aligned decisions:
Match your values, not just your obligations.
Protect your energy and capacity.
Honor the person you’re becoming, not just the one you’ve been expected to be.
Leave you with self-respect, even if the outcome is uncertain.
The Untrapped Decision Filter™
Once you know the parts of a decision and what “aligned” looks like, the Untrapped Decision Filter™ keeps you honest:
Does this fuel or fracture my energy?
If it drains you just thinking about it, that’s not resistance — it’s wisdom.Does this honor my values?
If you wouldn’t want someone you love to tolerate it, neither should you.Does this respect my capacity?
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.Is this aligned with who I’m becoming — not just who I’ve been expected to be?
Growth requires grieving past versions of you — even the successful ones.
Run every decision through these four questions before you act. It won’t give you “perfect,” but it will give you honest.
Your Move
Before you ask “What should I do?” ask:
“What am I really deciding here — the action, the trade-off, or the commitment?”
Your Reflection Prompt
Choose a recent or current decision. Break it down into the four elements (Choice Point, Information, Trade-Off, Commitment). Then, run it through the four filters. Notice where clarity sharpens and where resistance spikes.
Lesson 3 Takeaways
Every decision is made of choice, information, trade-offs, and commitment.
“Aligned” means it matches your values, energy, capacity, and future self.
The Untrapped Decision Filter™ turns messy options into honest clarity.
You can’t control every outcome — but you can control whether you self-abandon.
The Untrapped know decisions aren’t about perfection — they’re about self-honoring clarity. We don’t just choose a path. We choose ourselves in the process.
💛 If this lesson sparked something for you…
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Up Next:
Lesson 4: Clarity Isn’t a Feeling—It’s a Practice